I am exhausted...I've billed 40 hours in the past three days...up and out of the house by 7.15, home around 10.45...today I got home early at 8.45... I haven't had such a regimented schedule in over 6 months, and I am not used to it!
This week was productive though...I got my first fill and I joined a gym. Now I have to go! Next week won't be nearly as busy, as I'll only be working 10 hours a day...I hereby pledge to go to the gym, which is IN MY OFFICE BUILDING every day, for at least 30 minutes.
I'll also need to work on my eating...although I now have 5.4 mL in my band, I am still HUNGRY! I finally felt a tiny bit of restriction today when I was eating a second felafel ball, but other than that it is pure portion control. I still feel in bandster hell...I don't want to eat until I feel stuck or sick, but I want to not want to eat more! I totally gave in and carefully ate one small slice of pizza today...I was super careful, and I felt like I could have had more...but I did not! Nor did I give in to my chocolate craving around 6 pm on Friday night with another two hours of work in front of me...I had a chocolate protein shake instead for 110 calories!
Tonight I will relax - I've been reading blogs using google reader, but you can't comment...consider this a big comment - you all are doing great. If you are struggling, it will get better. I'm giving myself the night OFF - will watch a few episodes of Nip/Tuck and get some sleep. Tomorrow I have some errands - I have to get a bunch of pants taken in at the dry cleaners, buy a baby gift for my friend and his partner, and hunt for a pair of black flats - I have 100 dollars of store credit at DSW, so I will see if I can find something there. Then lunch at the in-laws - is it bad luck to call them that since I am not engaged or even married? That's how I think of them!
Sunday I will got check out my friend's new baby, have lunch with an old friend I've recently reconnected with - she doesn't know about the band, and I had made a decision I wasn't going to tell her. She is not a frenemy, she wishes me well, but she is very thin and has said some things that make me think she considered being overweight to be something that you let happen...I guess that is true, but I don't think she understands how hard it is to lose weight. Maybe i will tell her in the future, but not for now...then cousin Ilana and I are going to the gym!
I also want to prep food for the week and clean the apt...and SLEEP!
OH, and the scale...it does nothing. 257 this am...grrr!!! Maybe I should stop eating pizza and cupcakes? I don't regret either though!
Food:
2 scrambled eggs with salt and pepper from the nice deli downstairs from work
one half cup 1% cottage cheese
one small slice pizza with a few pieces of chicken breast - I know it's not mushy. I didn't follow directions. I ate it very slowly and I chewed it very well. It was a lunch meeting where boss provided food, so I ate a piece. I felt fine, no restriction.
1.5 falafel balls with yogurt sauce I FINALLY felt a little restriction. No pain. I stopped immediately and waited a while to have some soup.
1 cup tomato soup with rice - super mushy.
i chocolate eas shake
11.20 pm...5 garlic flavoredcardboards crackers, 2 string cheeses
i chocolate eas shake
11.20 pm...5 garlic flavored
you are doing great! baby steps is where you are and you are making a lot of them-working so many hours can be hard and weaken your resolve but you are making deliberate choices. I think that is the key to succeeding at this thing. You Choosing when to eat something good and when to eat something good for you instead of some outside compulsion and regretting it later.
ReplyDeleteTina
Hang in there! You are going through alot of changes right now, and I am there with you. It is a hard transition and when you add long work days, fuggedaboutit!!
ReplyDeleteI've read where some people take several fills to reach that sweet spot-- but just think about how far you've come and how much more conscious you are being about your eating.
Way to go!
And I love the gym committment.
Here is a little piece of advice about that:
I totally agree with the committment to go to the gym each day-- but make it as EASY as possible for yourself. Just tell yourself that you will do "xyz" each time-- and choose the simplest, easiest thing.
Usually, that is walking slowly on the treadmill. Don't get caught up in "I should be running or trying C25K or whatever"-- just walk. IT is the safest, most effective and best exercise and it has the HIGHEST compliance rate of any other exercise per scientific research.
Good luck!!
Hi Yana - I like Vanessa's advice about exercise. Try to hop on a machine that you enjoy - bike or elliptical or treadmill - and don't feel like you have to be superwoman right away. Listen to music, or read, and make it a pleasant experience so that you WANT to do it again the next day!
ReplyDeleteAs for the eating - its not so bad. Pizza is not the end of the world. When you only eat one slice its like 300 or so calories, which is a fine amount for a meal. In fact, I had one piece last night (and the fact that I could eat the entire slice, crust and all, tells me that I need more fill).
You will need more fill if you can eat a slice of pizza. But take it slow, work what restriction you do have.
And sorry about the long hours. Are you doing doc review that ENTIRE time? OMG. More power to you! Remember, the money makes it worth it!
Hey Lady! So, the one thing that I've learned about NYU is that they want to get to restriction faster than others. They don't want you to suffer. So, maybe call them to see if you can get your next fill within two weeks? I did that and it worked really well! Good luck.
ReplyDelete