How I got to be fat

Cody's post on "How I got to be fat" was so compelling to read. Mostly because it felt like she was telling my life, in so many ways...here's her list in italics and my comments.

Once I started researching the band, I thought I would be a good candidate because I have such a need for fullness and quantity...even when I ate good food, I ate too much of it.


-Binge Eating
-Secret Eating
Binge eating has definitely been a problem, and it is almost always done in secret for me...the first time I remember realizing it was when I went to the bakery with my friend Nicole (who had a host of eating disorders but managed to keep her weight down by exorcise anorexia and purging, which I have never done) and we came out, gobbling our goodies, and turned to each other and asked "Chinese or pizza?"
Since then, I've perfected my binges. They would usually be solo. Sometimes ordering delivery, sometimes going to the store to get supplies...my binges tended to be carb based...two family sized boxes of Rice-A-Roni, an entire package of pasta with sauce and and cheese, two entrees of Chinese food with extra rice that could each feed 2-3 people. Fried food is also a downfall - I would order 4-5 appetizers from a restaurant, that were all fried for delivery and eat them all. Sometimes I would pretend to be talking to someone in the other room when the delivery guy came, or I would make the order take hold on while I was on the phone so I could pretend to ask my friend what they wanted as a side.
And is it binge eating if you prepare a good meal, that is reasonably healthy, but ate enough for 4 people?
As far as secret eating goes, sometimes when I didn't want to eat too much in front of people, I would eat before I went somewhere, or even before my family had dinner, I would gulp down an extra portion before we sat down.
-Snacks for Trips
I didn't want to be without opportunities to eat. Just two months ago when I went on a trip with BF and his friends I stuck a box of Stella D'Oro Fudge Cookies in my computer bag, so I could have secret snacks that I didn't need to share.
-Fast food.  
Traditional fast food is not my weakest link - Chinese food is - in NY it is everywhere and it is really good. I've detailed my love for Chinese food already ;)! I ate at McD's or the equivalent no more than once a week, and sometimes not for a while. But sometimes I would get so much - two large Value meals, and two different drinks, so they would think it was for my friend! I know part of this is just because I don't have a car...when I have BF's car sometimes in the past few months, I usually did get fast food. I just went through this paragraph and changed the tenses to past! Felt pretty awesome!
-Eating super fast. Yes. And in front of the TV
-Buying bags of chocolate and just sitting in front of the TV and eating it all. A chocolate bar, usually not huge amounts...but the TV, definitely.
-I hated (and still do hate) 95% of all vegetables. I do like veggies. Also love my carbs!
-Sauces. Sure. I like to dip and flavor things, but I don't think this a huge deal for me.

SOME MORE OF MY OWN REASONS
1. Wacky tabaccy...this is not something I do on a regular basis any more, but to be honest, there were a few years in my mid to late 20's where I smoked a lot of pot, got the munchies, ordered food delivered to my house, and ate. In front of the tv. Lather, rinse, repeat.
2. Food is escape and ritual. I would frequently order/eat the same foods, in the same place (mostly my couch)
3. Fullness...even if I didn't binge eat, I always wanted to eat until I was FULL. My father would say that it is good to get up from the table still a little bit hungry...I always thought that was crazy...but that might be why my dad has never been more than 20 lbs overweight on a 6'1" frame his whole life (a winter of being unemployed and eating too many pastries with his tea).
4. Reading/eating...from a very early age, I love to read. And I loved to eat mindlessly while I read. I would go to spend a day at the library, stopping at the store for a large bag of Doritos and a chocolate bar, then smuggle that into the library, find a private chair, and curl up with a pile of books and sneaky nibbles. Or at home, once I fixed food, I wouldn't necessarily concentrate on the taste, but shovel it into my mouth while reading.