It's getting better all the time....long and rambling!

ok, 232 lbs this am, which isn't more than last am, so that is good.

Again, lots of eating yesterday, big appetite, but I tried really hard to eat protein first, avoid straight carbs until I ate some protein, and stop and wait and evaluate. That's all I can do unless I go onto a strict DIET, and that is the real four letter word around here, isn't it?

Went to the closet today to get dressed - I realized yesterday that my favorite black dress is too big (what a short window that was!) and looks sloppy. Tried on a brown dress I've had for years, which was my secret go-to. I didn't love it, but it looked ok, and I could always go to it...not anymore. droopy boobies! Of the dress, not me! Wearing an outfit today that I bought to wear to my little brother's bat mitzvah...BCBG (the had a plus size line for a minute) skirt and top, black with tiny yellow and lavender flowers. Sleeveless, so with a black silk cardigan. The outfit is a 1X, I think, but I had it taken in when I lost weight after seeing pictures from that weekend...that was the Great Reduction of my life...went down to 195 for about a minute, but stayed at the 212-217 range for a long time. Lost over 40 lbs, on a strict low carb and phen/wellbutrin diet. And having NO life besides counting carbs in various green veggies. I should write more about my last successful weight loss experience, back in the summer of 2000...ten whole years ago, wow! It was miserable in a way that the last six months can't even begin to compare to. I actually think except for the liquid diet, this has been pretty painless...some attention, some unraveling of the demons I carry, but this needed to be done!

So another sisterhood post, probably tonight or tomorrow morning, then I will try to mail packages this weekend.

Let's see...a bit of greek yogurt with a handful of corn-pops. Frozen shrimp and veggies, about 200 calories, 15 g of protein. a lean pocket. fiber crackers with cheese, watermelon slices. scrambled egg with pea and a small slice of buttered toast with a sliver of cheese. Went out for drinks but chose to have water with lime, cause I didn't want booze calories and I also eat much more after drinking.

I'm going to admit something here...I am tempted to have something "naughty" tonight that I will have difficulties with in the next few months, because I plan to keep myself at optimal restriction for weight loss. Now, on the other hand, :naughty: in small portions can be come ok...and while I feel wide open comparatively to when I was at a great restriction to lose weight, I know I am at not...last night I cooked 2 scrambled eggs but could only eat one...so Chinese food it is for dinner! Maybe. If I don't talk myself out of it. Which I do all the time..."let" myself have permission to eat something, then reason with myself Emeril style...Self, do you really want chicken in garlic sauce? You can have it, if you really want it...Or maybe just some nice cheese and a baked sweet potato...? There's a juicy chicken breast, self, that you can heat up with chicken jus reduction, that'd be tasty, and you'd feel good when you get on the scale tomorrow...

Laugh if you want, but it totally works!