I HAVE LOST OVER FIFTY (50) POUNDS!!!
Fifty one, to be exact! I am very excited. I sent a few emails to some of my dear close friends, my mom, E, E's mom who started this whole thing by getting a band herself...
And then I totally proceeded to eat non mushy stuff today because i was STARVING. Three days after a fill, and I was starving!
I had: a strawberry yogurt. Three kefta kebabs, which are like lamb meatballs, and I chewed them up very well. And half a portion of fries...and 6 Oreo cookies plus a small bottle of skim milk. A lentil soup. And a snack sized bag of Cheezits. And one brownie bite. I chewed everything super carefully, and didn't have the faintest hint of stuckitude. It was decent restriction - I was happy with small amounts, but I could eat everything. I was supposed to be on mushy food, though. I feel like I had gotten into a habit of indulging myself while I had less restriction the last few weeks, and I kept going...
I think I need to see a shrink. I'm pretty sure of it. I just don't know how to find one or pay for one. The tricky thing with sliding scale is that on paper I do alright. It's just when I finish my student loan payment and credit card bills that I have been trying real hard to put some dent in and some other thing that I have to pay off and my health insurance premium and rent and and and...therapy takes a real back burner. But I think I need to step back to band basics and plan more and cook more and find a way to get some head shrinking done! Pronto!
Yana. I have found that this band thing is more of a brain journey than anything else. I could make the choice every day to eat around my band (there are days that I make the wrong choice and some days that it is a huge struggle to make the right choice) but I believe that dealing with my food issues both before getting the band and throughout this process have been what has helped me use it as a true tool. I don't believe that restriction alone will do it. If we wait until we're restricted to deal with the food issues, than we'll just pb too much, risking our bands, or eat sliders in order to get any food in and the weight loss will eventually stall. I understand financial issues (that's living in Manhattan for you!), but I think that dealing with the head piece is critical and hope that you can find a way to push it towards the front of your priorities. Congratulations on the 50 pounds, it's an exciting milestone!
ReplyDeleteWOOOO HOOOOO!!! I know you've been working long and hard and really looking forward to hitting 50 pounds down! CONGRATS!!!
ReplyDeletegreat job! 50lbs!!! Congrats!
ReplyDeleteFirst super congrats on the milestone.
ReplyDeleteI think Jenny has hit the nail on the head.. this journey is not just about food intake, but dealing with the food sabotage (as I call it) is still something I need to work through.. I know what my triggers are, I just can't seem to find a substitute action that calms me as much as food does.. perhaps you can make an appt for two (maybe a discount or group rate)?
You are doing something right if you are down 51 lbs!!! Our blog groups is the next best thing to therapy and we are FREE. We will never tell you that your hour is up! :) Great job!!!
ReplyDelete50 freakinfabulouspounds baby!
ReplyDeleteYou go girl!!!!!
ReplyDeleteCongratulations Yana!!!
ReplyDeleteYou are doing awesome Yana. Ups and downs I know but as long as the downs outweigh the ups that is all that matters :-)
ReplyDeleteyay you on the 50 pounds!
ReplyDeleteas far as therapy goes, i see both sides, our blogging community is great therapy, free, and indeed we won't tell you that your hour is up. however, there is something to be said for the act of going to therapy. i'm a big advocate for it and usually insurance covers it. i don't know if you're self employed or actually on the payroll of the firm you work for cuz i know with attorneys it varies. but if you have insurance it's worth looking into and then all you'll have to pay is a co pay. i think therapy is great! i certainly wouldn't be here without it. that's why i dig the blogging community so much. i can literally read blogs for days. no kidding. hope things get better for you. keep your head up and remember that all things happen for a reason. we're here for you.
Yana - Congrats on 50 that's great. I totally understand the therapy thing. I know I've identified the need for it to, but haven't done it yet. Celebrate your achievement!
ReplyDeleteYeah 50 lbs. that is such a huge accomplishment.. Way to go..
ReplyDeleteFabulous fifty...congrats. I agree with Jen . The way I read it it seemed like you were eating so much because you lost 50lbs. Does it feel like that??? Do you still medicate with food??? I don't know what the answer is....but I think there is much what Jen said. Don;t eat yourself up and keep up the good work
ReplyDeleteCongrats on the fifty, that is amazing! Such a great accomplishment!
ReplyDeleteI do hope you are able to find a way to push the therapy thing a little closer to the front burner. Food issues are very hard to figure out on your own. I wish you all the luck with this!
50 pounds, yay! <3