Weekend, smeekend.

I'm working on a sisterhood post now as well. Took photos of everything, so stay tuned. If you have any specific requests, especially got office wear in sizes 18-20, drop me a post. Some of it is not for summer, but if you think it will work for you in the fall, then ask for it - I need to get it out of our tiny apartment before E goes nutty!

I have to tell you, as I left work at seven pm on Friday, I was almost in tears at the fact I would return on Monday. On Saturday, I told my cousin at a family function how I was feeling. I also told E's best friend and his girlfriend later that day. Today, I feel like I monopolized brunch with girlfriends talking about it. I'm obsessed - can't stop talking about how I am not happy at work right now. After a long talk with my friend Rachel and a Reiki session, I feel a bit better this evening. I will go in tomorrow, do my best, try to be the best employee I can be, and if it isn't good enough, then it isn't good enough and he can fire me. That's the worse thing that can happen. What would be even worse, and I have decided I will not allow this any more, is that I could let bossman make me feel bad about myself. Could let him make me feel that I have to drown my sorrow in crappy food or smoke cigarettes. I will not allow this - a job is a job, but my health is the most important thing, be it weight, smoking, or just almost unbearable levels of stress.

Yesterday, I felt like I ate from dawn to dusk, but in retrospect, I don't think I did HORRIBLY...around 1 pm, I had 1/2 of a bagel crust with scallion cream cheese, a little baked salmon, a few olives and crudites. I also had a mini strawberry tart, a mini cupcake, a chocolate jell-ring candy, and half a chocolate covered pretzel. This was at a Bat Mitzvah luncheon.

Headed over to some friends' place for the first BBQ of the summer. I had a glass of wine, 1.5 margaritas, a bunch of banana chips, shrimp cocktail, mozz/basil/ tomatoes, few bites of brie, raspberries, half a chicken breast, 5 pieces asparagus, baby potato with butter. 6 marshmallows, 1.3 of a chocolate bar, and 2 graham crackers...s'mores!!! This was between the houes of 3 pm and midnight, so I don't think it was too bad. I did consciously stop drinking at some point, to be a bit more mindful of what I was eating. Definitely not an everyday. But it was also the opposite of what I was struggling with earlier this week - trying to force in a binge when it wasn't working. It was delicious food, eating with good company.

This does have it's own problems...eating while socializing tends to be slower paced, so I eat more over time, doesn't have limited portions, so I can keep picking...and I have a feeling that all the work I do during the week will be stalled and backpedaled on the weekend...last weekend I gained about 4.5 lbs! However, I was also super PMS'ing, and I did get my (.) yesterday. So that idea of getting extra tight when I get my (.)...a dream...I ate well yesterday, and managed breakfast this morning of 3 finn crisps, a few teaspoons of hummus, 6 olives, and a lump of sharp Cheddar cheese. I got on the scale this morning, and was up 1.5 lbs, so let's see what happens tomorrow.

Brunch was fab in Red Hook, Brooklyn. We went to a place called Kevin's, which was good, but not stellar - I had tea with milk and a little sugar. A small mug of shrimp bisque. 1.5 poached eggs with a little bit of hollandaise, a small crabcake, one bite of bread and about half of the delicious potatoes with shallots and garlic. A few bites of blueberry pancake and two small bites of fried chicken (friends' orders).
Our brunch locale had no liquer license, so we moved on to Fort Defiance, where I had a milk punch (milk and bourbon) and cucumber cooler with gin and seltzer and simple syrup and lime juice - delicious, even though I don't like gin! We walked around and ended up at Steve's Key Lime Pie Shop, where Rachel and I split an individual tartlet. I was a little disappointed, to be honest, but I gobbled it up. I think I can make better!

Home now, and I don't think I will eat any more today.