Apparently I already used this title.
Today was a BAD day. I almost walked out of work.
I am trying to let it roll off me...two people told me not to take it to heart.
Look, if bossman decides that I'm not good enough, then he can fire me. And then I will find another job. I feel much more confident that I can do that after a) losing almost 50 lbs and b) learning some new skills at this job. Not ready to jump off the boat yet, but if it takes much more water then I am out of there.
On the plus side, all I've had at 9.30 are two handfuls of cheezits from yesterday- had to finish the box - but I think I had less than 250 cals of cheesy goodness and 4 shrimp. I ordered shrimp parm on a plate, and I just at the shrimp and the sauce, with just a little nibble of cheese. One bite of bread crust. Shrimp can be a little hard to chew, so I was careful and actually opted not to swallow one mouthful that I had chewed for a while and never quite got to where I would like it to be, chew-wise.
Did I just write that? Chew-wise?
I am so going off the deep end.
I've got two zits on my face, which DOES NOT HAPPEN TO ME!!! I have great skin and I am vain about it. I know it is because I just took day 9 of 10 Provera pills my doc prescribed, but I do NOT have to like it.
I also blame the fact that I have not really been losing although I have great restriction. As of this morning, I was still above the number on my ticker. I hope by Saturday I will have dipped below it. I will try not too eat too much on the weekend, because it sucks working all week to lose just to gain it all back. The good? thing about it is that it was mostly fun social special eating as opposed to mindless stuffing my face eating. Except for the ENTIRE CONTAINER OF RICE I ate on Sunday night. I have diagnosed it though, it was Sunday night work dread because going to work is scary. I never know what thing I've fouled up or how inadequate I am until my bossman lets me know. Awesome, right?
Oh, girls...I just wanted some love and affection and E is working late tonight. Fine. I will just eat my greek yogurt and some pop chips and read my book - I decided I watch too much tv, so I stopped by the library after work and picked up some light reading. Started with Santa Olivia - it's post-apocalyptic fiction, which I love!!!
Getting a lap-band to be healthy and even more gorgeous ;)
Getting a lap-band so as not to let weight decide what I do and how I live my life.
If bossman continues driving you crazy, you should scrape together a little time to look for something else. I've had those bosses who make you miserable and life's just too valuable to waste your emotional energy on them. Until then, all your blog buddies are here for you, standing by you!
ReplyDeleteYana, so sorry the job is not going so well right now. I don't know, maybe you need to look elsewhere. You do not need to be miserable like this!
ReplyDeleteI third the above comments. At least if you are sucking it up for a reason...because you know you will soon find something else, it will be easier to bear and there is light at the end of the tunnel. It's also easier to find another job when you already have one. I've been just where you are now. The more they find fault the more mistakes you will make...you get nervous and edgey, you don't trust your own judgement and it totally undermines your confidence. It's actually like being in an abusive relationship. I hope you don't mind me speaking my mind, it's well intentioned. You deserve better. :0) xx
ReplyDeleteI 4th the comments above, must be horribly stressfull for you. Is he as bad with your co-workers?
ReplyDeleteso sorry to hear that you're having a crappy time right now with your job. i've so been there. nothing you do will make the boss happy and you're busting your ass to get done what you've accomplished. i hope there's something else out there for you. i ended up quitting the job the boss sucked. it wasn't a career type job though. more of a stepping stone. which makes a huge difference.
ReplyDeleteglad to know that you rewarded yourself with a trip to the library. that's what i do now since i really try not to reward myself with food. unless i've been craving it for a few days. then all bets are off. lol
keep your head up and i hope things get better.