Not even a little bit.
And I was on top of the world this morning, in my hot little outfit. And my first client of the day congradulated me on expecting. I laughed and said no, I guess it's just not a flattering dress. She then insisted I had no need to be embarressed because I wasn't married, because even though she was an old lady, she was modern...
GRRRRR!!! I tore the dress off as soon as I got in the door tonight.
Food:
half a little cottage cheese and raisin turnover
about 8 small shrimp in a creamy sauce and about half a cup of rice and veggies.
2 oreos
other half of the turnover...
I have a home made strawberry Napoleon with my name on it in the kitchen...
I called a friend and she invited me to a last minute bachelorette party. I just got home and I realized I don't want to go...I'm debating doing myself up, going down to the meatpacking district, probably spending at least 100 bucks on nothing...
The reason I am debating is because I remember the old Yana staying home because she looked so fat and wanted to stay home and eat and hide. I guess part of me not wanting to go is compared to most of the women that go out in the meatpacking district, I will be fat. I mean, I am still fat. According to some, I look pregnant. I wear a size 16-18 and weigh over 220 lbs. That is not thin. And I certainly don't have a go to hott outfit to wear. And I need a haircut. And to do my eyebrows...and my chin, to be perfectly honest.
I was looking forward to going home, checking out blogs, eating some dinner and my dessert. Plucking my facial hair, shaving my bikini line, packing for my weekend away, picking an outfit for the bat mitzvah tomorrow morning I am going to...
But part of me says: a thin person would go to this last minute bachelorette party. If you want to be a thin person be a thin person. But I don't wanna! I dunno...also, I now told my friend I would come (not the bride)
what would you do?
Getting a lap-band to be healthy and even more gorgeous ;)
Getting a lap-band so as not to let weight decide what I do and how I live my life.
I would go, mama! NOW you do have things to do so maybe just go for a bit, may don't spend so much money....BUT if you want a different kind of life, you do need to BE different! I have thought of this frequently throughout this process. *Hugs*
ReplyDeleteOH my bad! I just realized the "mama" may look weird or bad after someone assuming you were prego! Sorry! I call lots of people "mama or hot mama"! :S You look great, NOT pregnant! Old people suck sometimes!
ReplyDeleteOK it is already too late..but I say go because you said you would. Don't let that idiotic woman crash all of the confidence you have gained over the last months. She probably needs glasses!!!
ReplyDeleteUgh - when oh when will people learn to stop commenting on "pregnancies" until the person actually utters the words "I'm preggo"!!! Sorry that happened to you...I bet you did look hot....some people just have no concept.
ReplyDeleteI am kind of weighing in on the side of don't go (only because I can picture the meatpacking district all too well). If you hadn't already had planned your night, then I would wonder if you were "hiding"....but sometimes we just want a relaxing night at home.
Crap - I hate this for you!
ReplyDeleteIf it were me, I would have stayed home. The right answer is probably to go and have fun but I would have needed the protective barrier of home between me and the world if someone asked me if I were expecting.
Sometimes I wear things that make me look smaller than my 229 pounds and other days I wear things that make me look much bigger. But so do people who are thinner than us. A size 16 is something to be proud of when you look at where we've come from. Try to not let strangers ruin what you're accomplished thus far.
Sometimes I wish I could plaster a before photo on my forehead so that people understand when they look at me and judge me that I've come a long way...
Keep your chin up. Tomorrow is another day!
I would have said to go. If we do the same thing we have always done or what is most comforable, we will never change.
ReplyDelete- Lisa
http://inweighovermyhead.blogspot.com/