Self, Do You Really Want That?

This isn't really about banding, it's more about how I got to the point where I need a band. 

I wandered around the market yesterday...I wanted something to eat. And I was sort of planning that it would be bad for me. And that I would eat a lot of it...

I think I wandered around for 45 minutes, in a small corner market. I kept picking up stuff and then putting it down. Nothing was exactly what I wanted. And I kept thinking, what's the point of doing this if I am just going to get my band and have to loose it...

I still ended up buying a small bag of chips and a cupcake. Um, ok. Actually, it was a box of cupcakes, but I didn't eat them all. That day. But still, better than some of the other options I was considering!

And then I came home and made a list of all the things I need to get done that are stressing me out. Because I think what I wanted to do was eat too much, get into a food coma, and not be able to worry about these things (nothing terrible, just stuff that needs to be done). That has been a way that I deal with things. I hate being stressed out. That stresses me out even more! ;) The cause of my stress is almost always my procrastination, BTW. So then I look for ways to distract myself from my problems, and one of them is over-eating.

I saw a shrink once, and she told me when I get panicky and stressed, to try sitting with it. Not to try and put it out of my mind, but take it through to a conclusion. So, if I don't do X, this will happen, and then this will happen, and that will be a bad result. But it won't kill me. The worse outcome is not that bad. Unfortunately, sometimes it is...but I am making lists, sitting with my stress, and trying not to put it out of mind with food.