Debilitating Procrastination - Advice solicited + Letter to Future Self

I want to write about an issue that has haunted me my entire life, and has had a lot to do with my compulsive/binge eating. I'm not just one who ate a little too much of good food, but I have a dirty secret - I would binge eat to zone out, to stop thinking about my stressors. And my stressors are almost always work (or school, back in the day) related.

My number on source of stress has been my overload of work. I have three "works" PLUS I am looking for a new one -
1. work for my current employer, where I now manage four people, who, while I really like some of them, are very inefficient. So I basically have to keep reminding them to do everything. And three of them are !awyers
2. My old work - I have some open matters from years ago. I accepted these cases because I was assured I would be paid, but that's not happening. But I have to finish them out. But it's very hard to find time to do this when I am resentful of all the time I spent on them and the money, hiring a bookkeeper, etc.
3. My new gig - I have been freelancing. Doing the type of work I do for my boss, but for people who come to me. I'm very careful no to take anyone from my boss, but I can make a month's salary every time I take one of these private gigs. But they do require work. But they bring in a lot of cash, and they make me a more attractive candidate for the final one:
4. Looking for a new place to go! If I can bring clients with me, can state how much money I can bring in...I become a much more attractive candidate. The other option is to create one myself, but until we close on this purchase of the house, I need to keep a full time one because E does this now.

And this has all been overwhelming for me. I took an entire work off from week in December, lied that I had pneumonia, used all my symptoms from last year, to work on things, but spent the week eating and on the internet.
And I took off most off last week, blaming the pain of my fractured cocyx, and did the same.
(My place I go doesn't give me any vacation or sick time, unheard of I know, which is why I am looking for a new one)

I did a lot of thinking about it yesterday, and did some of the things that are hardest - thought about what really needs to be done, dragged out the files and boxes, etc. I also talked to E about it.

So I woke up this morning, saw it was snowing wintry mix, emailed my boss I needed one more day, and decided today was going to be different, today I was going to be super productive and awesome and feel much better about the backlog.

Do you have any advice? I would really welcome it.

On another blog I read (not a weight loss blog, but by a woman, so of course she does talk about weight and diet sometimes!) the writer was struggling with some issues. And she wrote a letter to her future self. So I thought I would too.

Dear Me on the cusp of 35: (I will be 34 next month, so we're talking about one year)

This has been a tough year! Lots of new things for you, right?

You left your place you go that was making you so unhappy. You realized that you had a lot of value, and could find an environment where you were treated respectfully and had support and an opportunity to become better at your profession. Even if you didn't get an offer that you decided to take and decided to just do it on your own, you were able to trust that you were good at what you do, and capable.

You also were able to take care of your body. You took the time to visit doctors, find out if there were any outstanding health issues, tried some holistic problem shooting and if that didn't work, then you bit the bullet and took the standard Western medicines that have been recommended to you for YEARS. You worked on getting your body healthy and balanced and ready to carry a beautiful baby.

You respected all of the work that you had already done before by losing a LOT of weight by continuing to lose more weight, albeit much slower. You made good food choices most of the time, but most importantly, learned not to eat out of stress or frustration. You also learned that you feel GREAT when you exercise and that you can fit it into your busy life.

You took some fun trips and bought some pretty new dresses. You paid attention to your mama and kept up with friends. You learned how to keep your house ready for visitors (and maybe you bought a new house! I'm not sure if that worked out or not, I think it probably did, but even if it didn't, you made that happen) and how to cook more delicious and healthy food.

And hopefully, my dear me, you've got a baby on the way. This may make you really sad, when you read it next year if that's not the case, but I'm going to say it. I know you really want to have a child and you are scared that you are getting older. Now, as you read this, even if you are not pregnant, even if you are not trying to get pregnant because the man you loved wasn't able to understand how vitally important this was to you and you had to end that loving relationship, I am very proud of you for taking care of your body to get ready to have a child. And you will, whether it is now or later, with your current partner or another one or even by yourself, and while I know how much you crave to carry and birth a child, maybe your child will come to you from some other path. The important thing you did this year is to deal with oldness, with things hanging over your head, medical, financial, etc., and open your path to new things...

You have come a long way in the last two years. You are a strong woman, who is becoming stronger. You are becoming more interesting, with more intelligence about life and character, about what you need and how to get it. Keep going! You will never arrive. You will never wake up and say, YES! I've accomplished all I want. Because that will be the end. But hopefully, you will be in a place where you can say, I have ideas about where I want to go, and I am doing things to get there.

Love,
Me!

Well, I went out on Friday night and had a bunch of drinks with a friend, and usually I wake up the next morning and see a lower number on the scale, as I am dehydrated...didn't work this time! Up to 221.5 on Saturday. 221 yesterday and this morning.
Last week wasn't a great eating day, so I wasn't too surprised. It's always unpleasant to go back up into an old decade, but I know that this is easy weight to get back off, and my complete lack of exercise hasn't been helping.