Precious

Well, the good news today is that I got a potential client and I did a little bit of walking. Unfortunately, this was bookended by two of the saddest text messages I have ever gotten. Here are the last two messages that came into my phone, from two different but both very very very dear friends:

"Mom was diagnosed with cancer. Don't really feel like talking to anyone right now. Call me in a few days."

and

"Thnx. Mom is on the edge of life. It's hard to watch. We've said what we needed to say. Now we just wait + try to make her as comfortable as possible."

I don't need to go into the back stories, it's nothing new for many people. Why am I posting it here? Well, first of all, since I made the decision to have this surgery at the end of the summer, and even more so since I started blogging about it, I check in with the other blogs every day (Sometimes several times a day if it is slow, to see what you all are up to!) and I know this will affect me, so I wanted to just share it.

But it also made me think - thank god I am getting a band! I need to take charge of my health with the things I can control or make a dent in - my weight and all the potential complications that can arise out of being overweight. I am pretty healthy now, with a just recently discovered slightly elevated blood sugar at the physical I had leading up to surgery (I am not too worried, because I was eating cookies on the way to the dr's appointment. Stop judging. I know it's gonna end! They were really really good French bakery cookies, at least...). Anyway, I am pretty healthy now, so I better do everything I can to keep it that way! Because we never know what sort of thing can come out of the blue and end our lives. (I know that cancer is not necessarily terminal, and I hope that M's mom fights hard!) Life and health are precious, and it's my responsibility to guard it. My weight is out of control, so I am being proactive and getting a band to help me lose weight to be healthy. It was the decision that I need to be responsible for my health that brought me here. I want to be healthy and live a long life with people that I love. I'm scared that will be cut short by illness of death if I don't address the weight.

And then I selfishly thought about my mom, and how amazing she is, and how much she loves me and how much I love her and started crying, cause I feel like I don't always appreciate her and I hate that it takes thinking that she won't be around forever to make me understand what an amazing mom I have! I'm having lunch with her on Wednesday, and often I would cancel cause I just didn't feel like trekking 45 minutes to meet her...not this week. This girl is gonna be there. Maybe a sappy card.

And I hope I am able to provide the right support that my friends need. I emailed/texted both of them, told them I loved them, to let me know if there is anything I can do (I advocate for patients for a living), that I am here whenever they need me to talk or listen but I want to respect their need for space. And that my positive intentions are with them and their families.